I continued to participate in the show for two more years, once when I was 14 and again at 15. As my academic workload increased, I realized I no longer had the time to commit and decided to step back. During my final year in the show, I was one of the youngest models and was honored with the title of Judges' Choice: Best Female Runway Presentation. I was overjoyed by the recognition, and for the first time, I seriously began to consider modeling as a potential career. Although I didn’t return to those same shows, I continued to model for several local photographers, including some of my friends.

As I chased my dream, a shadow began to cloud my mind. I admired the models who had made it in the industry—stunning, confident, and impossibly thin. Though I felt comfortable in my body, I couldn't ignore the nagging thought that I didn't fit the mold of the elegant women gracing the runways.

When the COVID-19 pandemic hit and we were confined to our homes, I found myself trapped in my own prison. I pushed my body relentlessly, working out for over three hours a day while depriving it of the nourishment it needed. Looking back, I wish I could pinpoint a moment when I realized the harm I was doing to myself, a turning point where I sought help. But the truth is, I didn’t see my behavior as a problem at the time.

Gradually, things began to shift. I started eating more, and exercising less, and over time, I began to reconnect with myself. It was a slow journey, but I eventually learned to love and appreciate my body again. While I still have my struggles, I’m in a much better place now. I no longer obsess over “being thin enough”—I genuinely love and respect myself and my body for all that it is.